last post...

What a Monday!

Yesterday was extremely stressful. Like whoa. But it was all made better by 8pm at the Carner & Gregor Barely Legal Extravaganza III. The performers were awesome, all the music was great, and there was a band! Their songs sound GREAT with a band. Several of my CAP friends came out to see it too. And Becca! It was great to see her.

Today, Carner & Gregor are coming to CAP to do a masterclass/coaching session with me and 5 others. I'm excited! They have been so willing to help. I am a huge fan of them. Not only their music, but their attitude toward young performers. They are good people! I'm glad I know them.

I woke up feeling sick today... I hope that goes away...

This last week is going to be absolutely insane. I'm never sleeping. My schedule is so ridiculously packed.

Oh well. I'll sleep later. I don't wanna miss out on anything this week! I'm going to miss these people so much! We've really bonded. I feel like I've known the people in my group for years. We should have regular CAP 21 Group 4 reunions. Ya! I think I'll suggest that today in class.

epic weekend.

This weekend has been so wonderful! Unproductive, but WONDERFUL!
Friday night, group 4 had a pot luck party at Sami's apartment. It was so much fun! Really good group bonding time. I've said it before and I'll say it again... I LOVE MY GROUP! So much. We all get along so well.
Saturday, I saw the play "Masterclass" with Alexis, Chloe, Berni, Emily, Tringa, and Andrey. I think I might have been too tired and too unfamiliar with Maria Callas, the main character, to fully appreciate the show. We went home after and got ready for Rachel's 20th birthday party! Her party was at her apartment. Rather, the roof of her apartment building. SO COOL. It was tons of fun. The view was outstanding. I wish I could have gotten a good picture of it, but it was too dark. II few of us left together and made the looong trek to the subway. Is that how you spell trek? That seems really wrong. I feel like it's right though... Or is that just because of Star Trek? Treck doesn't look right, and there is a red squiggly line under it...
Ok, anyway.
We all got back to Union square and Danny walked me home so I wouldn't be kidnapped or worse.
TODAY, I woke up at 11 (after having missed my alarm so I could go to church with Jillene...OOPS!) and Alexis texted me that she was 11th in line for rush tickets to see Book of Mormon. She had been there since 8:20am, and she offered to buy me a ticket! WHAT?! She's the nicest. I got us Chipotle and met her there in time for the lottery, which we didn't win, but it didn't matter because we got rush tickets at 2! Alexis had been there for 5 hours! AHH! We saw the show at 3. IT WAS SO GOOD. I laughed sooo hard. I made the people in front of me deaf from laughing so much. I don't think they minded though because they were too busy laughing themselves. The show is so clever and smart and witty and wildly inappropriate and politically incorrect and hilarious and sweet and heartfelt all at the same time. We had standing room only tickets, but they were $27 (Whaaat?) and we were surprisingly close to the stage!
After the show, Alexis and I went to my place to change and then went to a cabaret benefit called "Friends With Benefits: MY High School Musical". So many awesome people performed, including Nikki James (who we just saw in B.O.M.) and Robin De Jesus!! AHH! It was really cool. We got to talk to Nikki James afterward! She was really friendly and nice to us.
Now I need to do my homework! AHHH
good weekend. good day.

today.

today was a day.
I performed my scene from West Side Story for the first time today in musical scene study. I'm Anita... which I would never ever ever be cast as, but that was the point. I've really been challenged here at CAP with roles that I wouldn't be typecast as. Which is exactly what I wanted. Its forcing me to work on the things I'm not good at, like making big physical choices and being aggressive and commanding a stage. I'm working on pieces that force me to do this in my acting, musical scene study, and vocal performance classes. It's really hard. And I frustrate myself easily because I can so clearly and easily THINK the thoughts these characters would think. But to DO the actions they would do HOW they would do them is the challenging part for me. Why can't I embody Anita, and be strong, aggressive, and commanding? Why won't my body cooperate with my head? Why do I internalize everything?
Ugh. Anyway. My self-doubting rant is over. I know that I can't just snap my fingers and get it. I know that it takes hard work and practice and focus and guts. And I'm trying to do just that. I'm trying to kick the doubting and self-depricating thoughts out of my head. Trying to GET OUT OF MY HEAD in general. I don't always succeed, but I've had a few moments of small victory. I hope that it only gets better.

ANYWAY.

I only have 7 days of class left. 10 more days in NY. 1 more full weekend. 2 or 3 times in each class. Whoa.

lessons I learned today:
--Connecting to my body through my breath is a powerful tool. It's an exercise we do in several of my classes, and I'm just now starting to see why. I will do this everyday.
--Lloyd told me my really expensive La Duca dance shoes might be too big?! WHAT?! I hope he's wrong. I hope they don't stretch too much.
--I need a stage name. Dang it.

stress.

stress is stressful.

i'm tired. i think i might be getting sick. or maybe it's allergies. i have a to-do list longer than a page just for this week. lines to memorize and songs to learn and work on. worksheets to do and rehearsals to schedule. dances to practice. questions to answer. papers to do. i'm tired.

i knew that this would happen. i knew there would come a point where i'd be overwhelmed with all the stuff and exhausted from all the work. and i know that all i need to do is continue to work hard and push myself, get as much sleep as possible (what's that?) and eat lots of fruit. i have 13 days left in NY. 9 more days of class.

there is so much more to soak in and learn and experience. so many more notes to take. so many more breakthroughs to be had and milestones to reach. i still have SO freaking much to learn from these fantastic teachers. i want to come back. i really do think i would love the 2 year professional program. i go back and forth every day, and of course i have a lot time to decide before i'd have to apply, but as of right now, this very instant, i am applying and would LOVE to go. now, ask me tomorrow, and it might be different.

things i learned today:

--i dance better in La Duca's (my brand new designer dance shoes) because i feel more confident. they are the shoes that people on Broadway wear. they make me feel good.

--we had a mock audition for Millie today in my audition tech. i was told by Bill, the teacher, that i had a great audition, and that i was "such a Millie type". WHEW.

--i should stay far far away from stumbleupon.com when i have things to do... dangerous...

i haven't updated this in a while...

this weekend was so fun! my family was here! it was so good to see them. got my new tap shoes for millie! got beautiful new character shoes! saw the off-broadway production of RENT! (SOOO GOOOD!) went to stardust diner! had fun friend time on jillene's roof! went to coney island! laid out on the beach!
good weekend. now homework. 2 more weeks.
i felt truly homesick for the first time today. i love it here, but good grief it will be nice to be home.

stressed.

lots to do. need more time in my day.

on a happy note, MY FAMILY IS HERE!!