What a Monday!

Yesterday was extremely stressful. Like whoa. But it was all made better by 8pm at the Carner & Gregor Barely Legal Extravaganza III. The performers were awesome, all the music was great, and there was a band! Their songs sound GREAT with a band. Several of my CAP friends came out to see it too. And Becca! It was great to see her.

Today, Carner & Gregor are coming to CAP to do a masterclass/coaching session with me and 5 others. I'm excited! They have been so willing to help. I am a huge fan of them. Not only their music, but their attitude toward young performers. They are good people! I'm glad I know them.

I woke up feeling sick today... I hope that goes away...

This last week is going to be absolutely insane. I'm never sleeping. My schedule is so ridiculously packed.

Oh well. I'll sleep later. I don't wanna miss out on anything this week! I'm going to miss these people so much! We've really bonded. I feel like I've known the people in my group for years. We should have regular CAP 21 Group 4 reunions. Ya! I think I'll suggest that today in class.

epic weekend.

This weekend has been so wonderful! Unproductive, but WONDERFUL!
Friday night, group 4 had a pot luck party at Sami's apartment. It was so much fun! Really good group bonding time. I've said it before and I'll say it again... I LOVE MY GROUP! So much. We all get along so well.
Saturday, I saw the play "Masterclass" with Alexis, Chloe, Berni, Emily, Tringa, and Andrey. I think I might have been too tired and too unfamiliar with Maria Callas, the main character, to fully appreciate the show. We went home after and got ready for Rachel's 20th birthday party! Her party was at her apartment. Rather, the roof of her apartment building. SO COOL. It was tons of fun. The view was outstanding. I wish I could have gotten a good picture of it, but it was too dark. II few of us left together and made the looong trek to the subway. Is that how you spell trek? That seems really wrong. I feel like it's right though... Or is that just because of Star Trek? Treck doesn't look right, and there is a red squiggly line under it...
Ok, anyway.
We all got back to Union square and Danny walked me home so I wouldn't be kidnapped or worse.
TODAY, I woke up at 11 (after having missed my alarm so I could go to church with Jillene...OOPS!) and Alexis texted me that she was 11th in line for rush tickets to see Book of Mormon. She had been there since 8:20am, and she offered to buy me a ticket! WHAT?! She's the nicest. I got us Chipotle and met her there in time for the lottery, which we didn't win, but it didn't matter because we got rush tickets at 2! Alexis had been there for 5 hours! AHH! We saw the show at 3. IT WAS SO GOOD. I laughed sooo hard. I made the people in front of me deaf from laughing so much. I don't think they minded though because they were too busy laughing themselves. The show is so clever and smart and witty and wildly inappropriate and politically incorrect and hilarious and sweet and heartfelt all at the same time. We had standing room only tickets, but they were $27 (Whaaat?) and we were surprisingly close to the stage!
After the show, Alexis and I went to my place to change and then went to a cabaret benefit called "Friends With Benefits: MY High School Musical". So many awesome people performed, including Nikki James (who we just saw in B.O.M.) and Robin De Jesus!! AHH! It was really cool. We got to talk to Nikki James afterward! She was really friendly and nice to us.
Now I need to do my homework! AHHH
good weekend. good day.

today.

today was a day.
I performed my scene from West Side Story for the first time today in musical scene study. I'm Anita... which I would never ever ever be cast as, but that was the point. I've really been challenged here at CAP with roles that I wouldn't be typecast as. Which is exactly what I wanted. Its forcing me to work on the things I'm not good at, like making big physical choices and being aggressive and commanding a stage. I'm working on pieces that force me to do this in my acting, musical scene study, and vocal performance classes. It's really hard. And I frustrate myself easily because I can so clearly and easily THINK the thoughts these characters would think. But to DO the actions they would do HOW they would do them is the challenging part for me. Why can't I embody Anita, and be strong, aggressive, and commanding? Why won't my body cooperate with my head? Why do I internalize everything?
Ugh. Anyway. My self-doubting rant is over. I know that I can't just snap my fingers and get it. I know that it takes hard work and practice and focus and guts. And I'm trying to do just that. I'm trying to kick the doubting and self-depricating thoughts out of my head. Trying to GET OUT OF MY HEAD in general. I don't always succeed, but I've had a few moments of small victory. I hope that it only gets better.

ANYWAY.

I only have 7 days of class left. 10 more days in NY. 1 more full weekend. 2 or 3 times in each class. Whoa.

lessons I learned today:
--Connecting to my body through my breath is a powerful tool. It's an exercise we do in several of my classes, and I'm just now starting to see why. I will do this everyday.
--Lloyd told me my really expensive La Duca dance shoes might be too big?! WHAT?! I hope he's wrong. I hope they don't stretch too much.
--I need a stage name. Dang it.

stress.

stress is stressful.

i'm tired. i think i might be getting sick. or maybe it's allergies. i have a to-do list longer than a page just for this week. lines to memorize and songs to learn and work on. worksheets to do and rehearsals to schedule. dances to practice. questions to answer. papers to do. i'm tired.

i knew that this would happen. i knew there would come a point where i'd be overwhelmed with all the stuff and exhausted from all the work. and i know that all i need to do is continue to work hard and push myself, get as much sleep as possible (what's that?) and eat lots of fruit. i have 13 days left in NY. 9 more days of class.

there is so much more to soak in and learn and experience. so many more notes to take. so many more breakthroughs to be had and milestones to reach. i still have SO freaking much to learn from these fantastic teachers. i want to come back. i really do think i would love the 2 year professional program. i go back and forth every day, and of course i have a lot time to decide before i'd have to apply, but as of right now, this very instant, i am applying and would LOVE to go. now, ask me tomorrow, and it might be different.

things i learned today:

--i dance better in La Duca's (my brand new designer dance shoes) because i feel more confident. they are the shoes that people on Broadway wear. they make me feel good.

--we had a mock audition for Millie today in my audition tech. i was told by Bill, the teacher, that i had a great audition, and that i was "such a Millie type". WHEW.

--i should stay far far away from stumbleupon.com when i have things to do... dangerous...

i haven't updated this in a while...

this weekend was so fun! my family was here! it was so good to see them. got my new tap shoes for millie! got beautiful new character shoes! saw the off-broadway production of RENT! (SOOO GOOOD!) went to stardust diner! had fun friend time on jillene's roof! went to coney island! laid out on the beach!
good weekend. now homework. 2 more weeks.
i felt truly homesick for the first time today. i love it here, but good grief it will be nice to be home.

stressed.

lots to do. need more time in my day.

on a happy note, MY FAMILY IS HERE!!

tyoo-zdih

lessons for today:

tap: when i practice, i'm better. WHAT A CONCEPT!

vocal tech: vocal health day! polyps are yucky! pain meds aren't good for singers! don't get STDs cause it messes up your vocal folds! neti pots are gross, but awesome! be kind to your chords! they are only the size of a dime!

acting: when you have a phone conversation in a scene, make up exactly what the other person says, and then have someone actually have the conversation with you on the phone. why have i never thought of this? it makes sense...

vocal performance: i need to have the courage of my convictions... shifting my weight doesn't communicate strength and confidence, but the opposite

working out is fun. i pushed myself hard today, and stretched a lot too. i need to get in this habit for when i get back to waco. i need to maintain the shape i'm getting in here.

memorizing lines while working out is a good idea.

west side story is SUCH a good movie. natalie wood. man oh man.

Finally, I'll write about the day it actually is.

It was SO humid today. UGH. 

There was a heat advisory today... which I laughed at...I don't think it got over 95 degrees today. Pssh. That's nothin'. But I'll admit, the humidity SUCKED. Blechk. I felt like I had to swim to class. And not in a fun way.

lessons I learned today: 

jazz: I am automatically more confident in heels. why?

ballet: Today the air conditioning was actually on, and I hardly sweat at all. As wonderful as that was, after class I felt like I hadn't worked as hard...

music theory: diatonic intervals: M2 M3 P4 P5 M6 M7 P8

audition tech: MARC KUDISCH WILL SIT IN ON OUR LAST CLASS! He's going to be behind the table for our last mock audition! HOLY COW.

good day. lots to do this week. ahhh

SUNDAY!!!

Today (Sunday) I slept in for the first time in a while! I got up at about noon and made myself some jelly toast and scrambled eggs with ham. Yumm. Alexis and I had decided last night that we were going to try and rush the off-Broadway show Fuerza Bruta, and they started selling rush tickets at 5. So I got several things done, and at 4:30 met Alexis at the theatre. We waited, but they ran out of cheap tickets before we could buy any. Oh well. We'll try again another weekend. Alexis and I met up with Danny, and the three of us ran errands. Well, I had errands to run, and they came with me and made it a fun process. Then we ate at Chipotle (Alexis had never been. Crazy!) I ate all of my tacos. And they were extra packed. Then I went home and had a sandwhich 15 minutes later... I dunno what was wrong with me! I talked on Skype for...let's see...over 4 hours. Skype is the best invention ever. My roommates befriended an Australian model over Chat Roulette, and talked to him for about an hour. All three of them are in love. ;)

This weekend was really good. The perfect amount of rest and relaxation, fun friend bonding, and productivity. I love NY. I love CAP 21. I love group 4. I love it here.

let's pretend again!

It's SATURDAY! Not Monday! Shhhh!

Today (Saturday) was WONDERFUL!
I stayed up really late last night watching SYTYCD... I mean it was 3:30am when I went to sleep... But I still got up this morning at like 10am! Christina and I went to see if How To Succeed had any student rush tickets available for the matinee. Turns out they didn't have a matinee, OR student rush for the night show. So we meandered on over to the Catch Me If You Can theatre and got ourselves student rush tickets for ourselves and Tiana and Morgan. We walked around a bit, went to Jamba Juice and a bagel place. Then we met up with Caroline, Amanda, and Ashley at a diner before the show. They were seeing Billy Elliot. We saw Catch Me If You Can, which was pretty good! Norbert Leo is fantastic. After that, I met up with Chloe, Berni, and some of their friends in Shubert Alley to see Broadway Barks, an organization set up by Mary Tyler Moore and Bernadette Peters to help get stray dogs adopted. They were the HOSTS! Alexis met up with me after Chloe and Berni left, and we saw SO many broadway stars. I have video and pictures that I'll have to include in a later post. Then Alexis and I walked around for a while, ate at Shake Shack (yumm), walked around some more, sat on the TKTS steps, went to Colony where I bought an awesome history of the Broadway musical book. It's wonderful. Then we went to the dorm that Berni and Chloe are staying at. We went to a restaurant/bar thing and talked for so long! It was awesome. I love them. I'm the only American in that group (Chloe and Berni are from Australia and Alexis is from Canada) so we talked a lot about the differences in our countries etc. I finally got home at 1:30am. I had been out since 10:30am! WHOA!

pretend it's still Friday...

This is my blog entry written as if it were still Friday.

lessons learned today:
Jazz: apparently no one in my jazz class can walk in heels properly, so Lloyd is going to show us how on Monday...

Audition Tech: My voice part is NOT alto (because alto isn't a voice part?) OR a mezzo-soprano. I'm a soprano. Who knew? I guess I've had the wrong definition of these terms my whole life. And I still don't fully understand... embarrassing.

Musical Scene Study: Aimee, my teacher, is my hero. To quote Alexis, "I want to shrink her and carry her around in my pocket." That, and take all her knowledge, insight, and text analysis skills and copy&paste them into my brain. Today she helped me access my inner vixen, and be more aggressive. She said I shouldn't be afraid to let my characters be strong and aggressive. She doesn't want me to play it safe. I had a minor break-through today in class. (Only minor because I'm not sure I'll be able to deliver the same aggressiveness that I eventually did AGAIN without her help.) But by the end of this six-weeks, I will know how to physically show strength and aggressiveness on stage. I WILL. I'm determined.

After class today I was SO exhausted. I walked home in the rain without an umbrella, which was actually really wonderful. I decided that nothing sounds better to me than staying home and catching up on So You Think You Can Dance. And I have 7 episodes to catch up on... I'm pumped. I'm also going to watch West Side Story... because I've never seen it. And that's just wrong.

new idea

So every day, I'm going to write down the main lesson(s) I learn that day.

Today...
In tap: NEVER ask another auditionee a question about the choreography while at an audition. It is an insult to the choreographer. Plus, she might lie to you and tell you the wrong step.

In vocal performance: Have thought on the breath, meaning don't stop acting while you take a breath. Have the realization/beat change/intention or tactic shift WHILE taking a breath instead of on the words.

In voice lesson: "Happy Little Working Song" from Enchanted is my new favorite addition to my song book.

At Staples: If you are kind to employees, you get free stuff.

At Whole Foods: People in New York aren't the friendliest people. But if you genuinely ask them how their day is going, first they'll be surprised that you care, then they will answer, and then they'll be a lot more friendly.


Today was good. Only one more day of class until this program is halfway over! Or halfway...full? I don't know what the positive way to say that would be... I have as much time again as I've already had. There. That sounds better.

it's all about the party.

It's all about the party. This is the lesson I learned today in my business of theatre class. Networking is the most important thing. I've heard this before. But I've never heard that the most important networking you do is at PARTIES. Opening night parties for any show, especially Broadway though. You have to figure out who will be at these parties, and then learn everything there is to know about them. Then everything there is to know about their interests. This way you have stuff to talk about with them. Michael, my tap teacher but also our business of theatre sub, said that you will get more jobs at parties then you will at auditions.
As actors, it is our job to know everything happening in theatre in NY, everything in current events in the US and the world. No big deal. We just have to know everything.
This class was extremely overwhelming and made me anxious. I'm scared of this business. But at the same time, I want to take my fear and anxiety and channel it into an energy that will be useful to me. My nerves can become the energy I need to put myself out there. I will use the insecurities I have to my benefit. Somehow. I must find a way. Because saying I'll just get rid of them doesn't seem as realistic as deciding that I will just have to make them work for me.
I need to start taking cues from my sister and stalk as many Broadway people as possible. (Online, of course, not actually like follow them home...) Actors, producers, directors, designers, everyone. I need to know more shows and read more plays and steal more Playbills. I need to know more.

good day.

I'm going to TRY to write in this every day. You're welcome, mommy.

Today, I learned several tap steps that I am going to drill over and over again until I don't have to think about them. I need to write them down or video myself doing them so I don't forget what they are. I also would like to record or write down a series of stretches that I can get in the habit of doing even when I'm not in a dance class. Because I'm not in the least naturally flexible. I really need to work on it to get anywhere. So, yes. I'm writing down tap steps to repeat, and stretches to do.

I've also been working out. Not super regularly, but more often than I do while at school or home. My knees hate me from all this walking on concrete, so I can't be on the treadmill or elliptical for more than 40 minutes, but hey, that's better than nothing! 

Today in acting, Larry, the teacher, was speaking so much acting-teacher-genius that I had to put my pen down and get out my audio recorder app on my phone (which has been so useful for piano accompaniment etc.) and I like this form of note taking MUCH better! That way, I don't miss anything for the sake of writing it down. I can both fully listen and soak it in in the moment, and go back later and listen to it again to write it down. Genius.

Tonight, I don't have any homework specifically for tomorrow, so I'm going to try to get ahead on a few things. Also catch up on sleep while I can. Also read. I'm loving the book I'm reading, and its rare to have time to actually read it!

We still have mice. And the maintenance folks still haven't come. Not fun. Not happy.

But, mice aside, today was/is a good day!

ok, so...

I really do need to write in this more often because its going to be very hard to remember all that is worth remembering this past week. I will try.
I performed my acting scene with Michael on Tuesday for the first time. We got some good feedback and have a lot to work on before we perform this coming Tuesday! The scene is from a play called Life & Limb. It's crazy.
Then I performed my musical scene Wednesday with Cody. It was fun! Its "All Er Nuthin'" from Oklahoma. We worked specifically on the "moment before" our scene. We made good discoveries and it more specific.
I am a crazy note taker during class. One of the things I love about what I'm learning is that not only am I learning how to improve myself, but my teachers are really good at telling people how to fix things. It's one thing to be able to identify that there is a problem and point it out, and a completely other thing to know what to do or say to FIX it and make it better. They seem to be able to identify and then solve every problem. Or at least they know what to do to work on it. So I'm constantly scribbling down notes, not only for myself, but things I'm learning by watching other people work. I don't know if this is making any sense. What I'm saying is that my teachers are AWESOME and are so very qualified to teach us.
One of the things I've written down multiple times in every class is to be more SPECIFIC. With everything. For example, instead of entering a scene by walking into a room and doing a general "acting" look around, ACTUALLY look at things. What do you see? What does what you see make you do? Also, for example, if there is a scene in which you must have lots of nervous energy, make sure it's specific and connected to actual physical action, so it comes off as truthful, and doesn't fall in what my acting teacher likes to call "general acting land".
I'm also working a lot on my posture. I've been told by multiple teachers, here and in the past, that I need to stand up straighter and roll my shoulders back when I sing. I've decided that I just need to do this all the time, and then it won't be hard to do it whilst performing. Ya, I just said whilst. What? It might actually be an incorrect usage, but I like it, so I'm leaving it.
So I'm checking in with myself throughout the day, whenever I think of it, (this is an assignment that acting teacher Larry gave us) to make sure I'm not holding tension anywhere that isn't necessary, and that my sternum is lifted and my shoulders aren't hunched.
My dance teachers are pushing me hard. Especially my jazz teacher, Lloyd. He doesn't take crap, and won't tolerate things that other teachers let slide. He has been on me about having energy and really attacking the dances we're learning. I'm glad that he is so hard on me. I need to be pushed. And I think once I conquer not having enough energy and presence, I'll be able to push myself to be even better.
I'm working hard, but I could be working harder. I could be on Facebook less. I could do more research and spend more time on my assignments. My goal this week is to work harder than the week before. Take more notes. Spend more evenings renting out studios to rehearse with scene partners, or just rehearse dances and songs by myself. I want to take every note and apply it to the fullest.
This weekend has been a BLAST, and I still have one more day of it!! Friday night, I went out with most of Group 4, my acting/vocal perf/musical scene study classmates. We ate at Ruby Foos. DELICIOUS! I absolutely loved getting to know them more! I hope we hang out as a group more often. Then we went to a bar called Duplex and sang at the Open Mic Cabaret they had. We met up with Price and Andrew, who are visiting this weekend!! It was so much fun. Then Saturday, Price, Andrew, Shaun and I hung out all day. We went to the Met to see the Alexander McQueen exhibit (which was freaking incredible) and walked around Little Italy for a while. We got dessert, went window shopping, and met up with Bethany!! We all went out again, and met up with Jillene, my friend from CAP, and her roommate. We had a lot of fun, but were so exhausted from walking around all day that we didn't stay out crazy late. OH and this creepy creeepy man was creeping on us from outside the window at one of the places we went. He was just blatantly staring at us. We got some pictures that I hope will be on Facebook soon. I'll include one here too.

 Today was a lazy day for me. I slept in, and then Skyped with Patrick and talked to my mommy. Then one of my roommates Tiana and I went to La Duca, the designer dance shoe store. Holy cow. Their shoes are GORGEOUS. With the blessing from my mom, I bought really expensive but reeeeeally nice character taps for Millie. They are beautiful. They're 2.5 inches, black, t-strap. I love them. I get to pick them up sometime this week when they get their order of taps in. I can't wait to go to tap class for the rest of CAP with them and get used to tapping in heels! AHHH!

 Then Tiana and I met up with our other roommates, Morgan and Christina, and we shopped for a while and then headed home. The mice are STILL in our dorm. We found this out when one came to visit us in the kitchen while we were all sitting at the kitchen table. Needless to say, there was lots of screaming and scrambling to get our feet off the floor. It was hilarious.
I just Skyped with Kelsey, and now, instead of FINALLY starting my homework (today was supposed to be a homework day) I am updating my blog. Which is actually good because I needed to. And now I get to cross it off the to-do list I just made. Cool.

I think that's it for now. Tomorrow is July 4th!! YAY! I hope I can find a cool place to see the fireworks!

WHAT?! the second week is over?!

I'm sorry, but this is going by waaaay too fast. I feel like I updated this just yesterday! There is SO much to talk about and to remember!
I absolutely LOVE the group that I'm in for my acting/voice classes. I love every single person! We work so well together, and get along so well! We're all hanging out together for the first time tonight (in a few minutes) at Ruby Fu's. Exciting! And THEN, open mic bar with roommates, hopefully most of my group, and Andrew and Price and Bethany! Tonight is going to be a blast.
I'll update this later about all the stuff I learned this week and the performances I had, but now I have to go bond with group 4!!